Lockdown Blues

The following verses were written during the lockdown, and I guess reflect the many moods I went through: from buoyont and carefree, to gloomy and depressed, to a vague feeling of redemption.  Tucked away in the journal, getting swallowed up by the busy-voiced clock, they were already beginning to sound old. So, I thought it might be a good idea to share them on my blog, for "the ball I threw in the park has not yet reached the ground".

1.

woven in the spell of night

a peacock's mating call,

such wild yearnings:

enough to make the darkness

tremble

2.

Milkshake

You may lose me in your dreams

but, i will find you in my bliss,

together we shall walk

on the quiet cobblestone streets

giggle as we go past the old church

from the memory of our first kiss, 

when we exchanged our strawberry

milkshake moustaches,

by the stained glass relief

of The Virgin.

3.

Why does one's being reach out

with a few words, 

wanting an acknowledgement

of its identity;

an effort to touch a sombre chord,

to quietly find a corner

by the  reined solitude 

of the receding evening

and set it ablaze

with silent notes of a love unspoken,

yet never forgotten.

4.

a sunset and

a stillness 

astir 

by  flapping wings 

of returning birds,

hovered over the

crooked narrow path.

Gathering the many shades of

green in its fold,

red earth heaved

under the

weight of 

footfalls, lost

to the silence

of a purging twilight.

5.

Just a little longer,

And I would throw off

The nightly cloak of vague dreams

And dive into the day

In a meaningless mechanical way.

Just a little longer

And the music would begin

Tapping away of feet would follow 

an aching desire 

to be young again, dance on fire.

Just a little longer

and the heart would beat wildly

responding to the distant

beating of drums,

and to the evening's hymnal hums.

Just a little longer

then silently I shall 

stride into the night 

and with my spirit on pyre,

bid farewell to impossible desires

6.

Wreck

reduced to a wreck,

beneath all that debris

do I look for myself

some bits and pieces...

a shard of someone

else's memory pretending

to be mine...

and my own?

it looks for an escape

from this desperate gloom

somewhere to hide

to protect itself

against the onslaught

of time and 

amnesia

7.

Farewell 

when finally I had

broken free from

my own belting

loneliness

i stepped out 

to watch the shadows

shuffling past the 

quiet path...

and there, amongst their

dark gray whispers

a tremor of light:

a Brahaminy kite

spanning with its 

outstretched wings

the brazen skies.